For nearly twenty five years as a physician (and now as a wellness and health coach) I found it fascinating to query patients in my practice about their “resolutions” for the New Year.
Though it was not uncommon to hear something along the lines of “I’m too tired/weak/pained/sick to even think about making resolutions”, the most common responses could easily have been pulled right off the most popular New Year’s Resolutions of All Times List – such as get in shape, lose weight, stop smoking, get more sleep, watch less tv, drink less, get a raise, buy a new car, get married (or divorced), and so on…
As an aside, it’s reported that over 92% of us who make a resolution don’t complete it over the next twelve months; in fact, it’s reported that over 80% of resolutions have failed by the second week of February. I’m not sure how you’d ever complete hard research to confirm these data points, but intuitively (and as an observer of human behavior now for almost four decades), I’d believe it.
And while I typically wouldn’t ask the next obvious question – how many of those resolutions were on last year’s list? – my own experience from younger years had already provided the answer. Most of us never truly engage with and act consistently upon our New Year’s resolutions, and those issues impacting our lives negatively never get addressed in a meaningful, lasting, and consistent way.
Over the past decade we’ve (as a family) worked through a process to look at the New Year though a somewhat different lens – committing to specific goals; here’s three reasons you should too.
Commitment Reflects Your Deeper Motivation (Get the Why Right)
There’s no question that defining the why behind your desire to change helps cement your commitment to the process. I’m suspicious that many if not most of the resolutions that will be bandied about this week are things that people think they “should” do, when they really should be committing to things they will do for a specific reason(s).
A mentor and friend used to say often that we do what we do because we believe what we believe. What we truly believe, for instance about our health, drives everyday decisions about what we eat, how we move, how we challenge and condition our bodies and minds, and manage our physiology over the long haul.
A simple example – not understanding the why behind the disastrous, accumulating over the years damage that unfettered consumption of highly processed grains and sugars produces leads to ever-expanding waistlines and festering metabolic damage that eventually erupts in catastrophe.
Defining the why’s – the true beliefs or reasons behind your behaviors (or intended behaviors) – allows you drill down to the heart of the issue, and yields deeply motivated eventual success.
It’s ok to have some fun with this; one of my most successful client couples dropped over 200 pounds and became more fit than ever before because they wanted to improve their sex life. (It worked by the way; incentives are important.)
Commitment Implies SMART Goals
You’ve no doubt seen it before, but setting SMART goals can be an absolute game changer as you look at what you’d like to get done this next year. Here’s a quick refresher on the SMART goal process; you need to make goals –
Specific. Drill down and be as specific as you possibly can; split hairs and break big goals into component parts if needed.
Measurable. I love the sense of accomplishment that attaining a goal milestone brings; it doesn’t have to be a huge, life-changing milestone either. Set thoughtful (and meaningful) measurement markers along the way and cherish the victories as they roll by. Success begets more success.
Attainable. Be brutally honest with yourself here, think big but set goals with targets you can reach. A great example here is clients that want to lose over 100 pounds; for most of us, that’s a tall order for one year, but a piece of cake to do in two…
Relevant. One way to look at this is consider time lines, we all have short, intermediate, and longer term goals, create a balanced mix of all three time frames to align your progress this next year with the overall direction your life is taking.
Time-bound. Even if your goals are somewhat open-ended, or you’re not absolutely convinced your time-line projections will work (i.e. weight loss), define a set of deadlines that drive you with a sense of urgency and purpose. Dates can be wiggled.
Commitment Works for the Long Haul
Let’s face it, there will be days when you don’t feel like working hard to take another step toward achieving your goal(s), days you just don’t feel it, days where the first mile, not to mention the extra mile, simply looks too long, and you’ve lost sight of the longer term results and outcomes. Take heart, you’re not alone; we all have those days.
Commitment, however, isn’t based on how you feel. (Sorry, but it’s not, and may those who are attempting to define feelings are the absolute arbiter and driver of behavior should be condemned forever to the depths of perdition.)
Commitment, among other things, means completion. It means results. It means change. Commitment isn’t in any way dependent on feelings.
We’ve been conditioned to expect instantaneous results when we want something these days. The most valuable things in life, health and wellness treasures in particular, but material things as well, most often come about after our commitment over time to something – whether you want to define that as a lifestyle, a process, or specific goals is up to you.
It’s time to commit to be the best version of yourself you can be this year.
